Honey, did you miss me? Because I surely missed y’all – and apparently, so did the scandal. The minute I stepped back into my inbox, I was buried under more Airbnb tall tales than Pastor Simmons’ casserole at the church potluck. And baby, the juiciest one features none other than the Streisand of STR drama herself: the infamous Hot Tub Host.

Kicking Things Off with a Splash (and a Rash)

Now, I don’t like to gossip, but… Actually, yes I do. Remember that host from last spring, the one who insisted her hot tub was so clean you could eat off the jets? Well, slap me silly and call me a canary, because that tub saga ain’t bubbled out yet.

Tipsters hit me up: “Loretta, did you see Hot Tub Host is at it again?” Apparently, she’s back on the forums, this time defending her massage chair (yes, massage chair) with the same fervor she reserved for those questionable bromine tablets. Allegedly. But also absolutely.

The Receipts Are Scalding Hot

In one Facebook blowup (and y’all, I have the screenshots), Hostess with the Mostest reportedly posted:

“My hot tub is professionally cleaned between EVERY guest, so if you get a rash it’s probably just life catching up to you.”

Ma’am, even my cousin’s ex-husband Herb—who makes moonshine in a bathtub—knows you don’t sassin’ rashes with theology. The comments went atomic: folks posted screenshots of reviews mentioning folks’ “mysterious itch” and “unexpected spa souvenirs.”

And the pièce de résistance? Someone found a public TikTok where a recent guest did a dramatic reading of the house manual, complete with a warning: “Please refrain from adding any oils, bubbles, or emotional baggage to the hot tub.”

New Year, Same Old Suds

Just when you thought the spa drama would dry up, in comes a fresh review: “Hot tub was green, jets wouldn’t turn off, and there was what looked like a garden salad floating under the cover.” Y’all, are we hosting guests or green algae?

Loretta’s Cautionary Moral (Y’all Already Know It)

If the tub or the host seems too smooth, trust your gut (and your rash cream). And always remember: a massage chair is only as clean as the last guest’s spray tan.

If you think your property’s earning potential is going to wash up with the bathwater, check out StaySTRa Analyzer before you dive in. (Use protection – rubber gloves and due diligence, honey.)

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